• Subscription

  •  

    November 2009
    S M T W T F S
    « Oct    
    1234567
    891011121314
    15161718192021
    22232425262728
    2930  
  • Hope is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. Hope is the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. ~ Let our story give you hope that anything is possible!

A few more amazing things…11/18/09

Not a long story or a descriptive adventure just some amazing things that are happening with us right now that could use some additional prayer.

First, we have been interviewed (informally) for The 700 Club.  Our story will go to a committee for final decision but if we are selected, we could be sharing our story with a ton of people.  If you are unfamiliar with The 700 Club, check out the website at http://www.cbn.com/700club/?WT.svl=menu.  We should know something within the next couple of weeks.  How exciting, huh?

But wait…there’s more!  For only $19.95, you could take home…just kidding…seriously…should I be allowed to share my thoughts willy-nilly like this?

Lang and I are still set to run the Tucson Half Marathon on December 13th.  I have spoken with the organizers at the marathon and they want to do some special things for us.  A few ideas were announcing us as we cross the finish line, contacting the local newspaper and news station to run a story on us, etc.  At this time, we have been contacted by a local runners store to sponsor us for the race.  Sweet!  I am never been sponsored for anything…this is amazing! Now I have to finish the race…no excuses…even if I have to crawl over the finish line.

I told Lang to hold on tight because I feel like this is the beginning of our story…the story that God trusted us to tell…taking off.  As I tell the story to new people, I discover a new truth or message that I hadn’t known before.  A truth about myself or those around me, or a message that Lang had shared through silent communication.  Bottom line is that I see know how our faith and love radiates through our lives and our story.  People want to hear it.  People are intrigued.  People want to celebrate with us.  It’s amazing and I anticipate this year to be full of awesomeness.  (Yes, that is a word I am very fond of.)  :)

Please pray that our story is received as it is intended and that we are quiet enough to hear Gods’ will.

Grace & Peace ~ Carla

Humpty-Dumpty Sat on a Wall 11/14/09

This past weekend was a whirlwind of activity and excitement.  In addition to regular life stuff like soccer games, homework, bible study, training for a marathon, etc., we were planning for Lang’s Survival party as well.  All the extra cleaning, planning and organizing was well worth it because the party was awesome!  The day of the party I was so with it.  I got up early and got some homework done.  Then I got all the tables set up outside, complete with tablecloths and centerpieces (which were Humpty Dumpty figurines, thanks to Lang’s brilliance).  Once everything was perfect…it started raining.  Now I have been told that it never rains in Tucson…well…those people are liars.  Because apparently, if you are planning an outside party and finish setting it up, it will start raining.  So Darian and I frantically pulled all the tables under the covering and I began to grumble.  At first my grumbling was quiet but as the day carried on, it got louder and louder.

See the reason for such early preparations was that Darian had a soccer game at 1pm…on the other side of town (45 mins away)…and we were going to barely make it home before the start of our party…at 3pm.  Putting my anxiety in my secret hiding place of my mind, we trekked across town to Darian’s game and feverishly cheered him on.  Precisely at 2pm, we scampered off to our car and (following all road safety laws) we hurried home to “get our party on”.  We raced in the house at exactly 2:45pm.  As we all changed clothes, re-set out the tables and completed all last minute touch ups of the house…our first guests arrived.

At that moment, all the chaos melted away and we were present with why we were having the party.  We had wonderful people coming to our home to celebrate Lang’s survival and our families journey through the past year.  Through out the evening, we laughed, drank, loved, met new faces, and remembered what God had brought us through.  There were a few tears but only tears of joy and gratefulness.

My favorite part of the evening was when all our guests (about 30) joined hands and prayed.  I started the prayer (which is huge because I don’t pray out loud with others) and Lang finished.  I am glad to remember the past year and move on.  I am excited for what is to come in the next year.  I feel that God has prepared us (Lang, myself and our children) for a mission.  His mission.  So I plan on living my life to the fullest, with admiration, appreciation and empathy, all the while letting God use me for whatever He sees fit.

It didn’t rain again after that morning but even if it had, it wouldn’t have put a damper on the celebration we were all experiencing in our hearts.

Carla

Things I’ve Learned at the VA 11/13/09

Volunteering at the VA hospital in the Physical Therapy Department for the past 2 weeks, I have learned some valuable life lessons already.  I would like to share those with you.

For 3 hours each week, I spend my time observing, fetching, delivering, questioning, assembling, commenting and most importantly listening.  The client base at the VA hospital is mainly of the age of 75 plus and mostly men.  These patients appreciate and value a pretty smile and a good listening ear.  So seeing how I have both (thanks to my amazing orthodontist), I am a prime target for these nuggets of wisdom and truths.

Things I have learned at the VA:

  1. Old people aren’t as scary as I once thought them to be (caused by an unfortunate experience in junior high at the local nursing home).
  2. “Telemarketers are what is wrong with this country.”
  3. “Tucson used to be great 20 years ago until we ruined the environment.”
  4. “It doesn’t monsoon here the way it used too.”
  5. No matter how old men get, some still think it’s funny to do an impression of what I imagine their idea of a gay man is…not at all flattering for anyone.
  6. “Always remember to bring your keys with you when the ambulance comes to get you.”
  7. Old men will fall asleep anywhere, doing anything.
  8. No matter the age, old men will try harder if there is a pretty girl standing next to them, cheering them on.
  9. Apparently, it is ok to only change your clothes once per week and it is ok to sleep in the same thing you have worn during the day…it’s called “energy conservation”.
  10. Old men should always wear a belt…no exceptions!

I got this plethora of information in only 6 hours of volunteering.  I can’t wait to see what I learn next week!

Carla

One Year “Survival” Anniversary 11/10/09

Time flies when you are having fun, huh?  :)   I certainly wish that was the case for this past year but it certainly is hard to believe that on this day a year ago, the event that would change our lives forever happened.  At this time last year, Lang was fighting for his life after falling off a 30 foot cliff and landing on his face.  Flown to the hospital via helicopter after being revived at the scene, his survival looked very dark.  I remember the phone call that his sister made to the doctor before Lang was wheeled into emergency brain surgery.  “If you want to see your brother alive, you must come now.”  That is what the doctor said in a very matter of fact way.  I remember thinking, “I don’t like her.  She is cold.”  But now I know that in order to do that job, you must be able to stay disconnected from the emotional tornado that surrounds you each day.  I admire her now.  Dr. Franklin.  That is her name.  I couldn’t remember it until just now.  Petite, blond, in her late 30’s…

That night I waited in the waiting room with people that loved Lang but I had just met.  People that were loving me because Lang loved me.   “What can we do?”  “What do you need?”  I remember I had a massive headache.  (Probably not as bad as Lang did…I can laugh about this now.)  “I need some Aleve.”  Moments later, I had a bottle of Aleve in my hand.  “Food?  Water?”  “No.  I am cold.”  I couldn’t stop shaking.  Without regard to her own comfort, a jacket was given to me.  Literally, giving me the clothes off her back.  Holding my hand.  Hugs and handing me tissue, this is what these almost strangers did for me.  But they did more then they know…they gave me comfort that I wasn’t alone.  They did not let me be alone in a foreign city without a familiar face insight.  I am eternally grateful for their kindness and company.

Waiting for Lang to get out of that surgery…the one that even the doctors didn’t think he would survive, tortured my soul and spirit.  Sullen faces surrounded me in the Trauma ICU waiting room and then a man stood in front of me.  His hair slicked back, dressed in jeans and a Hawaiian shirt, he introduced himself to me as the neurosurgeon.  Really?  Dr. Smith.  The man who saved my husbands life.  He was early.  The surgery must of went well…or…maybe not.  He calmed my heart with words that Lang was going to survive through the night.  He explained that Lang was extremely lucky to be alive and that he was in really, really bad shape.  They would be watching the swelling of his brain closely and the pressure in his head was being monitored by an ICP machine (Inter Cranial Pressure).  He shook my hand and told me to keep praying and to be strong.  He had a very strong handshake.

My cell phone rang alot that night.  I can’t remember who I talked to or even answering the phone but I know I did.  I know I spoke with Lang’s sister when they called to tell me they were on their way to the airport to get to Lang as fast they could from 4 states away.  I still had a few hours until they would get there and then the social worker came…”You can see Lang now.”  I hesitated because I didn’t now what I was going to see behind those locked double doors that were heavily guarded by men in tan uniforms and indifferent faces.  A button was pushed and the doors snapped open with force and purpose.  The amount of intent and focus I had walking through the cold, sterile hallway must have been of great magnitude because I don’t remember seeing anyone else back there.  I know there were patients in each room and medical staff as well but all I could see was the number above each room.  Fourteen.  I was looking for room fourteen.  The last room down the hall.

I can’t believe the amazing things that Lang and I have been able to accomplish this year.  After a night like that, you wouldn’t believe it either.  A night of such fear and uncertainty has bred such love and light in both of our hearts.  We love each other more today then we did yesterday.  We love people more than we did the day before that.  We both see the world differently and long for others to see it’s infinite possibilities as well.  We seek knowledge and truth.  We appreciate the quiet, unspoken moments.  We see the tremendous amount of good that this world has and how the people in it are demonstrating that each day.  Regular people, of whatever religion, whatever background, whatever circumstance, with or without trauma or drama in their lives…just doing good.

I hope that in the course of our journey that we are able to bring joy, hope or desire into the hearts of those around us.  Not just because of Lang’s accident…I refuse to let that define us.  We are more than that.  We both were on this road before the accident, this has just helped us build a stronger foundation along the way.  This past year was a year of survival and recovery.  This next year will be one of reclaiming and rejoicing.

For every person that either gave me (and family) a place to lay our head, food to eat, a shoulder to cry on, a distraction (bowling, movies, hockey game) to reflect on, an encouraging word, gifts, cards or money, paying our bills, packing up our houses, decoding military phrases and ways of doing things, a hand to hold, a ride, a tissue to dry my eye, a laugh, loyalty to the blog, and prayer…Lang and I will never forget your generosity.  You are good people and we have never felt so loved.  This anniversary is just as much for you as it is for us.

Thank you will never be enough…regardless…Thank you!

Happy Anniversary to my sweet Lang who was saved this day last year and through his recovery has saved many others along the way!  I love you and will never forget what we have done this year.

Carla

A little of this and that…11/06/09

Today was a good day.  Went to my counseling appointment first thing this morning and had a great session.  It is amazing how much more productive I feel, knowing what I am dealing with now.  My counselor gave me some great techniques to handle some of the stresses/triggers for the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  Lang sat in the waiting room for over an hour and then patiently listened to me ramble on excitedly about our discovers and plan of attack.  I think he is equally as relieved as I am to have “a plan” and a light at the end of our never-ending tunnel.  A symptom of PTSD that I find odd is being easily startled.  This was a light bulb moment for me because for months Lang scares the crap out of me each time he enters the room.  I would swear that he was a stealth ninja trying to give me a heart attack but come to find out it’s perfectly explainable.  Thank God!  He still scared me today (not intentionally) but I laughed about it this time, instead of my normal grumble under my breath.  I feel like a weight has been lifted and I can breath again.

Lang is still working on getting his book published.  I think we should just call Oprah and tell her our story.  Maybe she would publish Lang’s book and let us tell our story.  Wouldn’t that be cool?  You know who I think is really cool?  Ellen.  I watch her show everyday while I eat my lunch.  She always makes me laugh.  I admire her too because she seems to be a very kind person.  Not like I know her or call her or anything but I am her friend on Facebook.  :)   Ok…it’s the show but she writes her own status updates, right?  Lang is still feeling very strongly about becoming a pastor and we decided that he should start every sermon by dancing through the pews and on the stage…just like Ellen does on her show.  People might like going to church more if they had a dancing pastor????

My new found love and passion is yoga.  I have been doing yoga for about 5 years but it has been specifically prescribed by my counselor now.  Now I just have an excuse to do it more.  I can’t even explain why I am so in love with it but just know that it rates high on my “Love it with my leg up” list.  (All my Dinnernite girlfriends, know exactly what I am talking about…or if you are a fan of the Joyologist on SNL, you will know too.)  I am reading alot about yoga these days, as well.  My new adventure is going to be learning to meditate.  It is supposed to be really good for you.  One day I hope to have my own quiet yoga/meditation room/space in the house but for now my space is in my room.  (Our room is enormous so there is plenty of space.)  I find that even just reading about yoga is relaxing.  I laugh at myself because I look at these women in certain poses and then I say, “I can do that!”  Then I try…ask Lang to spot me so I don’t fall…and then cry out in pain.  I think Lang holds back the laughter in a supportive manner but I am sure it is funny to watch.

So with my new found diagnoses, techniques to help me cope like yoga, meditation, hot baths and some others, I am hoping to find some rest and relaxation when I hit the pillow in the future.  I do not sleep well…a few hours each night…always interrupted and never soundly.  I beg for a good night sleep.  :)   Tonight I am hopeful that at least my mind has been put at ease a little bit more, which may help me catch some zzzz’s.

Newest Yogi~

Carla

Excuses…Excuses…Excuses 11/04/09

A few reasons for the delay in a new post:

  1. Training for a marathon scares the crap out of me and is taking over my thoughts and energy.  (Marathon is Dec. 13th)
  2. School is kicking my butt this quarter as my nutrition class is not one of my favorites anymore.
  3. Lang and I are desperately working on blissfully co-habitating with one another, which has proved harder than first thought.
  4. Darian’s school and soccer schedule has seemed to taken over my schedule as well.
  5. The start of some of my favorite shows and the discovering of some new favorites.  (So You Think You Can Dance, Biggest Loser and my new favorites…Cougar Town and Modern Family!)

Some new and exciting news…Lang is done with his book and it’s REALLY-REALLY good!  I sort of have to say that but I am probably tougher on Lang than anyone and I think this book is going to be wonderfully received by anyone who picks it up.  It’s not just a religious book…it’s about mental strength, faith and hope above all else and yes, God is in there too.  :)   He is now in the process of researching publishers, which turns out to be more work than writing the book itself.  He is hoping to have it out to some publishers by the end of the year.  Keep your fingers crossed!

I have started my recovering process from the accident and think that this is harder than what I did for Lang in the hospital.  I am suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  Nothing too drastic or disturbing, just alot of anxiety, frustration with my thoughts and actions not matching up, intense fear and irrational irritability and anger.  Poor Lang and Darian get the brunt of this situation but they are handling it well.   I am at least relieved to have a name to what I have been feeling for that past few months because I started to feel like I was going a little crazy and not very loving/lovable.

We are only 6 days away from the one year anniversary of Lang’s accident and I can’t believe how far he has come and how much we have accomplished.  I can’t wait to see what this next year will bring us.  New job?  New home?  New baby?  Who knows?!?  We have decided to not really decide anything too far ahead and to just enjoy what we have when we have it.  Nothing is guaranteed in this life and everything/everyone we have is a gift.

Tuesday, the 10th is the actual anniversary of the accident…on that day, could we ask everyone to say a small prayer of thanks for the mercy and love shown by God, family, friends and strangers?  Thank you.

Carla

7 Miles…The Record So Far! 10/26/09

Lang and I ran 7 miles today on a bike path near our home.  It is the furthest that I have ever ran and it is the furthest that Lang has run since the accident.  So we celebrated in an exhausted high five at the end of the trail.

Funny little side note:  According to Lang’s super fancy GPS runners watch, he only ran 10 miles on the morning of the accident.  I know…I said “only”.  I say that because that is what he said.  He asked me if he ran the morning of the accident (because he doesn’t remember anything from that weekend or two months out) and I recalled that he did.  He looked at his super fancy watch and said, “Hmmm.  I only ran 10 miles that day?”  I know…such a slacker, huh?  His usual was 12-14 miles, so I guess he was just in too much of a hurry to get back home to me.  So not only did he fall off a cliff that day but he also ran 10 miles that morning.  Busy guy.

So in 11 months, Lang has gone from tragically injured to running a few miles shy of what he was doing on a regular basis.  This man is unstoppable.  He is so funny too when we run because he knows how much I hate it.  How much it hurts for me to run that far…how badly I wish that I could just cheer him on from the side lines…so he is like my cheerleader while we run.  Telling me how good I am doing, commenting on my good form (I think he might have been hitting on me at that point), telling me how much he admires my will power to push through the pain and how much he loves spending this time with me.  I fight back the curse words that are begging to jump out of my mouth with every pound on the pavement and thank him for the encouragement.  I told him that I was only doing this for him (not for me) and that I was glad that we could do it together.  Every time I think about stopping and how much it sucks, I just think about Lang in rehab and watching him push himself and not give up.  That gives me what I need to keep going.

We have 6 weeks until the half-marathon and Lang thinks we will be in great shape by then.  He is so confident that I won’t stop more than two times.  I will do my best to make him proud.  :)

Fill in the blanks 10/25/09

I am an addict of words and thought-provoking questions and I stumbled upon this question yesterday.  I haven’t decided how I am going to fill in the blanks yet, but I thought I would offer you the chance to fill in the blanks as well.  What would your question look like and if you are so bold, what do you propose the answer to be?

What are some proven effective measures to improve ____________ while encouraging _________?

Thanks for sharing!

Carla

Fat Days 10/24/09

I think that Fat Days might be one of the worst feelings ever.  Now, technically, I understand that feeling fat really isn’t the worst feeling ever but try telling that to a woman on one of her fat days.  She would probably take another bad feeling in it’s place just to escape the bloating, tight jeans, round face, swollen hands/feet, overall ickiness that she is plagued with.  Some might argue that a Bad Hair Day is equally as daunting and traumatic but they would be wrong!  You can put a hat on your head to cover your hair.  There is only so much you can put over your butt to hide it before you start looking like one of those ladies that get nominated for the “What Not To Wear” show.  Claiming comfort and time limitations are the reason for the full body cover up.  All the while, we know that she probably just had one to many fat days and gave up.

Yesterday, I experienced one of these mind freaking, soul tormenting fat days.  I don’t know where it came from because I have been pretty much killing myself with this running thing and well…my eating is normal…for me.  I exercise alot so I can eat alot.  That’s my theory on living a happy life.  Anyways, it took me all day to figure out what to wear.  You know…put something on…wear it for a while…hate it…go change…three times…wear that for a while…hate it…clothes all over your bed, your closet and your floor…continue this until you have no other choice but to leave the house in the last thing that you threw on your body.  Ugh!  Then, as if this would cheer me up, I step on the scale.  What?  Really?  Who’s bright idea was that?  With only a couple pounds difference, really nothing more than water weight, I proceed to step on and off the scale in an attempt to get a smaller number.  Again…What?  Crazy lady…yes I am!  So the scale doesn’t budge…so I slump into the “I am so fat” for the rest of the day routine with my husband.

Now husbands might have it worse than anyone on the planet on these days because what are their options really?  If I were a husband, I would want to tell me to shut up and be grateful for the body that I have because last night on the Biggest Loser any of those women would trade bodies with me in a second.  Good thing I am not a husband.  I would probably be divorced by now.  :)   But my sweet, always loving, never judging husband just repeated three words over and over to me.  “You’re not fat.”  “You’re super sexy.”  “You’re body’s perfect.”  All day long.  Accompanied with a hug, a soft kiss and a solid hug, Lang did his best to fight the fat demons in my head.  I appreciated all his effort.  I appreciated even more the adoring look he gave me as I sat on the coach in my pink sweatpants and over sized tee shirt, eating chocolate chip cookies.  Because, apparently, he got the memo that sweats and cookies are the cure-all for Fat Days.

I am hoping for a better day today.  A less fat day.  Perhaps I should lay off the cookies for a while.  Lang has strict instructions to not let me make anymore cookies for awhile.  Cookies are my weakness.  I can walk away from any other food but not cookies.  Yummmmmm.  Or maybe I should invest in some second-hand moo-moo’s and wait for Stacy and Clinton (from What Not To Wear) to show up at my door.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Carla

Image Management 10/20/09

I heard these words used the other day and it has stuck with me.  I can’t remember when or where I heard them but I used them with Lang a few days later when we were talking about Christians.  We talk about this often and this day we discussed it for a few reasons.  The usually reason is my frustration with the hypocrisy that floods the churches and homes of a large number of Christians.  It’s no wonder that non-Christians are either disgusted, scared or indifferent with Christians and worse yet, Christianity. The “Christian” religion is responsible for some pretty horrible things in the past.  This is where Lang and I agree on the fact that there is a difference between religion and spirituality.   I think most people use these words interchangeably but I dare to say that the difference is religion is political and corporate.  Very rarely does this have anything to do with spirituality.  Spirituality is what you feel in your bones…in your gut…in your heart…what you believe…what you stand for…what you do in your life.  This is usually directed by the “religion” that you chose to follow.

My love affair with God is rather recent and I consider myself to still be in the “honeymoon” stage.  However, I am naturally an intellectual individual so I continue to ask a million questions.  “Why”, is my favorite question.  Which is usually closely followed with, “How can I live my life to mirror my beliefs?”  It doesn’t make sense to me to believe in something but not have the time or energy to live a faith based life.  I have chosen to place my faith in God and live a Christlike life.  For me this means to be humble, loving, kind, giving, knowledgeable and faithful.  Those are the words that I think of when I think of Christianity.  A word that I do not think of when I think of my faith is “bible thumper”.  A dear friend of mine used these words to describe me last week.  My definition of this word must be different than hers because first, I don’t thump people with Bibles.  :)   And second, I share my faith, I don’t hide it, I am proud of it but I don’t judge others with different faiths or convictions.  I think bible thumpers just thump people with their bibles if someone doesn’t fully agree with them, right?

Back to my new fascination with the phrase “image management”.  I have a point…I swear!  Ok.  So my biggest issue with religion or spirituality isn’t with those who do not share my beliefs, sadly, it is with those who share my beliefs and represent this belief in ways that are so contrary to the actual beliefs.  People who claim to be Christians and try to look as perfect as possible to “Non-Christians” because if you are a Christian then you are perfect right?  You must be better than them because your religion is better right?  WRONG!  Regardless of what religion you follow, we are human beings…imperfect people.  So it really bugs me when “image management” is the primary goal of Christianity.  What the %&^#?!?  Seriously, I do not believe that Jesus went through all that he did to leave the message of, “What ever you do, make sure everyone thinks you are perfect and be super clicky so people feel privileged to be apart of what we got going on.”

My point is that Christians are people too.  Hey…I should get a bumper sticker that says that.  He…he…he…I so amuse myself.  No really, my point is that Christians are regular people who drink, smoke, sometimes swear, go to church, don’t go to church, sing songs of praise to God or not, laugh, tell jokes, make love (hopefully to their spouse), watch sports, buy trashy gossip magazines, watch reality tv or R rated movies, make mistakes, shop too much, keep a dirty house…I could keep going.  However, the thing that I want to leave you with is that if you are a Christian or know a Christian, above all else, that person should love others.  This may look different to each of you but no matter how you define it…it’s love.  Volunteering, smiling, kind words, not judging others (unless they deserve it…Just kidding!), building a strong community/family, not losing your temper…however you show love, do that!

No more “image management” as Christians or people for that matter.  No more “bible thumping” people with your beliefs, whether it’s a belief in God or in the cosmos.  Love each other.  Especially those that are different than yourself…even those with different beliefs.